The Butterfly Effect: Learning Self-Love.

Every butterfly must complete metamorphosis during it’s lifetime. This period of rapid transformation changes the course of it's life forever.

Did you know we can do the same?

To grow into an adult they go through 4 stages: egg, larva, pupa and adult.

Each phase has a different goal: for instance the caterpillar must grow a lot so therefore it needs to eat a lot. It needs to keep filling itself up so that it can grow to it's fullest.

The life cycle of a butterfly can take anywhere from 1 month to 1 year.

If I told you that in 6-12 months you could alter your entire life for the better, would you step up?

Listen to the full The Butterfly Effect: Learning Self-Love Episode on our podcast Self-Love First by Smile Teachers.

Why am I talking about butterflies?

This process of metamorphosis is similar to the journey of learning to love myself that I have been on for the last 6 months.

It’s a journey of resilience, courage and vulnerability not dissimilar to the life cycle of a butterfly. Where I have been on a constant path of growth and evolution. A committed I made to myself many moons ago and I believe you will find value in learning about it.

Do you ever feel like shit?

Like you're empty or worthless?

I had this lingering feeling of self-doubt, stress and anxiety (again). I felt like I didn’t matter.

I had so many little negative voices that were trying to drag me down.

“You’re not good enough”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re never going to make it”

“People don’t want to hear what you have to say”

“Just go back to your simple life and stop dreaming”

I hit a period of my life that consisted of intense pain, a lack of energy, no inspiration or drive and overall feeling like a worthless piece of shit.

I was constantly battling with my inner world and self-sabotaging my own growth and evolution.

After experiencing a painful and sudden evacuation from my beloved teaching post at the end of 2018, where my boss and colleague of 4 years decided that "my head was on the chopping block" and I was pushed to leave the job I love because he had a more suitable and politically supportive "friend" lined up for my job. It hurt... it shattered me and it crushed my soul.

I had been in this constant spiral of negativity where I had diminished self-doubt, confidence and worthiness.

I felt like a tiny insignificant spec on the earth’s surface. My life felt like I was nothing but a tiny little egg… floating through the Universe.

My big vision and goals for Smile had never changed, but my belief in myself and the outcome had become darkness instead of filling me up with light and igniting my fire.

While busy and stressed and constantly doing things as I tried to find the answers I felt like I was soulless and a lost cause. I felt like a burden to everybody else around me as well.

I felt trapped, stuck and stagnant inside my shell.

But, was this feeling of loneliness, entrapment and fragility the beginning of something more?

During this emotional soul searching time of my life a great friend and mentor of mine reached out and shared some insightful words and advice. His prescription was to slow down and surrender to the pain and suffering. He advised me to stop searching for answers, to stop waking up looking for the stress and anxiety and to surrender and sit with the feelings, thoughts and emotions.

He asked “Do you believe the Universe has your back?”

I responded emphatically “Of course I do”

“Well then just trust that everything will work out and the answers will come to you, but only when you are in a state of stillness and silence” he insisted.

I had become so used to the stress and anxiety that it had become my default setting... I had to turn and face the darkness of living in an egg so that I could bloom into a butterfly.

There it was… my new favourite term, a term I later transferred to our Smile Teachers workshops as a focus for kids and teachers. STILL and SILENT (if you rearrange the word silent, it makes LISTEN).

It was when I made the commitment to myself to be still and silent that I began to really grow.

This little egg was on it’s own metamophisis. Although I felt like a shell of a man and a little empty on the inside, when I looked close enough I knew there was an infinite depth to my being and soul.

The coolest thing about butterfly eggs, especially monarch butterfly eggs, is that if you look close enough you can actually see the tiny caterpillar growing inside of it. There was something far greater growing inside of me.

I began to listen and practice being still and silent every day. I would trek up into the bushland behind my parents property and I would sit on the same big red and whit quartz rock everyday. Most days I would sit silently for an extended period of time, inquiring as to what was going on inside me. I had this immense resistance and pain.

The self-sabotaging beliefs were still lingering… however, the more time I spent reflecting and allowing myself to feel into the pain and suffering I began to realise I had power over this situation. I had been holding onto this anger, frustration and sadness for some time.

I had a lot of resentment, fear and anxiety that had manifested from the past few months of “not knowing” why this happened or what I was going to do. I wanted to go in an punch him in the jugular for doing that to me.

I felt abandoned, hurt and treated poorly by my previous employer and this had a ripple effect on many other areas of my life. All this negativity was harming me and I needed to grow above it and leave it behind.

Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have or lacked… my mindset started to shift and the time I spent out in nature, breathing, journaling, meditating and practicing SELF-LOVE the faster I grew. I was no longer a tiny little empty egg.

This little larvae was wriggling into existence.

I integrated positive affirmations day and night, I invested in my own learning where I was completing 20-30minutes a day with Mindvalley to upgrade my belief system, I started using self-hypnosis and a power Transformational Hypnosis Therapy from Marisa Peer to go in and unblock the self-sabotaging limiting beliefs that were strangling my potential.

The question of “Am I enough?” was being reframed everyday… I am ENOUGH was posted on my wall, recorded on my phone, written in my journal everyday. I was started to shift my belief about this.